I am trying not to complain, but to enlighten, although we all know there is plenty to complain about in any situation, and usually much to be thankful for. And we are going to leave out the debate over whether or not we could be making more than $20,000 and instead concentrate on the efficiency/utilization question, 'cause I see you all looking at me with that "you could be doing this so much better" face. By the way, $20,000 is more than the minimum wage, full time.
What 20,000 dollars a year for a family of four will get you:
-The monthly mortgage payments on a modest home in a safe neighborhood (or a moderate-nice, two-three bedroom apartment)
-Your electric, water, and gas bills paid, so long as you are careful and frugal about it
-Minor maintenance on a couple already-paid-for cars
-Gas to get to-and-from work, school, church, and errands
-AAA
-A Costco membership
-Cheap internet, Hulu Plus, and a streaming-only Netflix plan, plus 1-2 redbox rentals a week
-A small weekly allowance to keep you honest and let you play with your friends or "treat yourself" (like to an iced tea or a paperback book) sometimes
-Auto insurance and homeowners insurance
-You pay your taxes, you get some back
-Modest birthday parties and small but hopefully meaningful birthday gifts
-Holiday dinners and one or two get-togethers at your home, done creatively
-An occasional splurge on ice cream of a buck-fifty movie, for the four of you
-Medication and treatment for the sick
-Toiletries, training diapers, wet wipes, sunscreen, etc.
-Phone service on two cells, with limited texting
-Education, food, and clothing for one child in the third world
-Regular dental appointments and contacts/eye glasses
-Government loans to the tune of community school and books
-Food stamps, Medicaid for minors
-Credit-free living, if you're smart
-Medical debt every time your kid breaks his arm or swallows a penny
-Some hobbying (like making cards with scrap and reading about snake breeding)
-Bare minimum upkeep on the house (as long as you are handy with a paint brush, a screw driver, and a sewing machine), not including much-needed major upkeep for, say, a leaking roof or rotting siding, which brings us to...
What 20,000 dollars a year for a family of four will NOT get you:
-Cable
-Restaurant food or take-out, beyond the emergency meal off the dollar menu
-Convenience food, like frozen chicken nuggets or boxed rice sides, let alone individually-wrapped potato chips or bottles of water
-One-two weeks of groceries per month (the other two-three paid for by the government). You just have to scrounge the rest from give-a-ways and your depleted pantry
-Dates (except for maybe two a year when you relatives are around)
-A babysitter (not even once)
-Vacations (even travel to family, unless they graciously pay)
-New clothes or shoes, or even used clothes or shoes, for that matter (but there are always birthday presents...)
-Health insurance (again, just hope you get some for free. Three out of four of us are insured)
-Home-owners dues
-Charitable giving. I guess there is always your time and effort to give, instead
-Savings. Even a month's worth
-The ability to deal with almost any emergency, be it a broken car or a death in the family
-Pest control, termite insurance
-Life insurance
-Contractors of any sort, for fixing things like appliances or a plumber or whatever
-Christmas gifts, for anyone, even each other
-Christmas cards or holiday decorations and accoutrements
-A nanny, day care, lawn service, or house cleaning (even once)
-Summer camp, soccer team enrollment, piano lessons... unless you can get scholarships (which often require you to pay part, which is a little ironic)
-Bulk foods
-Investing in your future, including business ventures as small as a couple hundred bucks
-Admission to the theater, to the opera, to your church's one-day conference
-Some hobbying (like painting, photography, or learning to knit)
-Magazine or newspaper subscriptions
-Vitamins, make-up, hair cuts
I would like to think that when this is all over, I will not lose this perspective: just what it feels like to need someone to watch Boy for me to take Girl on her school field trip or to go to the dentist (or to be out and about and run into dinner time without a cooler of food or to rip my house slippers) and have it be such a struggle, a struggle that seems like it would vanish with a few bucks, and a struggle that happens every day is so many ways. Being "poor" feels so hopeless, so often.
What 20,000 dollars a year for a family of four will get you:
-The monthly mortgage payments on a modest home in a safe neighborhood (or a moderate-nice, two-three bedroom apartment)
-Your electric, water, and gas bills paid, so long as you are careful and frugal about it
-Minor maintenance on a couple already-paid-for cars
-Gas to get to-and-from work, school, church, and errands
-AAA
-A Costco membership
-Cheap internet, Hulu Plus, and a streaming-only Netflix plan, plus 1-2 redbox rentals a week
-A small weekly allowance to keep you honest and let you play with your friends or "treat yourself" (like to an iced tea or a paperback book) sometimes
-Auto insurance and homeowners insurance
-You pay your taxes, you get some back
-Modest birthday parties and small but hopefully meaningful birthday gifts
-Holiday dinners and one or two get-togethers at your home, done creatively
-An occasional splurge on ice cream of a buck-fifty movie, for the four of you
-Medication and treatment for the sick
-Toiletries, training diapers, wet wipes, sunscreen, etc.
-Phone service on two cells, with limited texting
-Education, food, and clothing for one child in the third world
-Regular dental appointments and contacts/eye glasses
-Government loans to the tune of community school and books
-Food stamps, Medicaid for minors
-Credit-free living, if you're smart
-Medical debt every time your kid breaks his arm or swallows a penny
-Some hobbying (like making cards with scrap and reading about snake breeding)
-Bare minimum upkeep on the house (as long as you are handy with a paint brush, a screw driver, and a sewing machine), not including much-needed major upkeep for, say, a leaking roof or rotting siding, which brings us to...
What 20,000 dollars a year for a family of four will NOT get you:
-Cable
-Restaurant food or take-out, beyond the emergency meal off the dollar menu
-Convenience food, like frozen chicken nuggets or boxed rice sides, let alone individually-wrapped potato chips or bottles of water
-One-two weeks of groceries per month (the other two-three paid for by the government). You just have to scrounge the rest from give-a-ways and your depleted pantry
-Dates (except for maybe two a year when you relatives are around)
-A babysitter (not even once)
-Vacations (even travel to family, unless they graciously pay)
-New clothes or shoes, or even used clothes or shoes, for that matter (but there are always birthday presents...)
-Health insurance (again, just hope you get some for free. Three out of four of us are insured)
-Home-owners dues
-Charitable giving. I guess there is always your time and effort to give, instead
-Savings. Even a month's worth
-The ability to deal with almost any emergency, be it a broken car or a death in the family
-Pest control, termite insurance
-Life insurance
-Contractors of any sort, for fixing things like appliances or a plumber or whatever
-Christmas gifts, for anyone, even each other
-Christmas cards or holiday decorations and accoutrements
-A nanny, day care, lawn service, or house cleaning (even once)
-Summer camp, soccer team enrollment, piano lessons... unless you can get scholarships (which often require you to pay part, which is a little ironic)
-Bulk foods
-Investing in your future, including business ventures as small as a couple hundred bucks
-Admission to the theater, to the opera, to your church's one-day conference
-Some hobbying (like painting, photography, or learning to knit)
-Magazine or newspaper subscriptions
-Vitamins, make-up, hair cuts
I would like to think that when this is all over, I will not lose this perspective: just what it feels like to need someone to watch Boy for me to take Girl on her school field trip or to go to the dentist (or to be out and about and run into dinner time without a cooler of food or to rip my house slippers) and have it be such a struggle, a struggle that seems like it would vanish with a few bucks, and a struggle that happens every day is so many ways. Being "poor" feels so hopeless, so often.
Devon, you are not alone on the list of what you live without. Thank you for the encouragement you bring by honestly sharing your struggle.
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