Mountain Folk

Seventeen family members (from seven nuclear families) in one three-story cabin up in the mountains of Gatlinburg, TN.

Day T-Minus-One: After two days of packing, cleaning for an open house, and getting Girl ready for back to school (we had to have her supplies packed up in her bag before we could leave), I have a day of watching Baby while Lindsay and Dan go to a local wedding. We decide that leaving after the wedding would be ridiculous with three kids, so we sit still and tuck in early.

Day One: Up early but delayed by the prospect of rain (Dan has to run and get a tarp and bungees for the luggage rack), we leave relatively early. There are odd-placed bathroom breaks thanks to the bladder of a three-year-old, but we make it there a little post-lunch-time, having come over the mountain from North Carolina. We greet everyone (except Kev, who is finishing up work and coming the next day with all our luggage) and hang out, ending the day with a long and raucous swim in the pool at the bottom of the mountain.

Day Two: Aunt Shelly gives us our secret ingredients for our scheduled "Chopped" competition. (We have to have the afternoon to shop since we don't have the luxury of a stocked pantry.) Appetizers: Cheese crackers, anchovies, pimientos, and cucumbers. Entree: brown rice (per my mom), chicken breast, puff pastry, and orange (fennel having been abandoned when we could not find it locally). Dessert: Kiwi, Matzoh, and cardamom. I shop for ingredients. Kev arrives, and we mostly all wander down into Gatlinburg and walk around town to check it out and take in the junky stores and (overpriced!) kitschy tourist traps. Somehow it is still interesting and beautiful. Then comes "Chopped" (which was a really good time for everyone there), which I know some of you wanted to know about... so here are the photos and the results.

Appetizer: Baked Southern Pimiento Cheese Dip with Cucumber Quick Jam (Flahertys) vs. Lumberjack Caprese Salad with a Balsamic Vinaigrette Reduction (Leemans). Devon takes the round.

Entree: Inside-Out Chicken Dumpling with an Orange Glaze with Cheesy Chive Rice (Leemans) vs. Rustic Brown Rice, Leek, and Chiken Stew with Orange and a Cream Cheese Pastry (Flahertys). Dan takes the round, and now we are about even with points.

Dessert: Kiwi Bread Pudding (Leemans) vs. Spiced Kiwi Muffins with Matzoh Crumble (Flahertys). Devon takes the round and the championship!

Day Three: Every single one of us heads to the Ripley's Aquarium, which turns out to be a great mix of a really nice aquarium and a little bit of believe-it-or-not (as in giant crabs and ethereal sea dragons). It's quite an event. Then we head back to the cabin and, as if we had not just taken in more water than we can handle, we head to the pool and swim and whip kids around and jump repeatedly through the waterfall, etc.

Day Four: Half of us (the rest of us head to Cherokee) take the auto tour of the Smokey Mountain State Park which runs through New Gap and over to the Clingman's Dome. The day is full of stunning vistas and touristy stops along the Appalachian Trail. In the blazing sun--but with a pleasant cool breeze which tricks us into sun burns--we hiked up 1/2 mile of steep terrain to Clingman's Dome and the summit. We consider driving all the way to Cherokee and a Farm Museum, but have to turn back instead, because I have a date with my Grandma, sister, and aunts at the Dixie Stampede! (The kids and others spent the evening at Ober Gatlinburg, enjoying the ski lift, alpine slide, etc.) This is my third time at the dinner show (both prior times having been in my teens), but the highlight (besides the soup) was Grandma turning to me repeatedly to say, "This is fun, isn't it!?" Acrobatic Native Americans, sashaying Southern belles, horse tricks and chasing chickens, and all with the sweeping historical message of "We are one nation." Thanks, Dolly.

Day Five: Just about every one got going just at the moment when an indoor water park (which we chose because it had to have been the most economical attraction in the county) was opening. Five hours later, we had enjoyed nasty--and tasty--fair food, a couple of big water slides, a warm pool, extremely loud 80s music mixing with the screams and laughter of children, water, water, and more water, kiddie areas, and I am pretty sure about 2 hours total just in the lazy river. We left frazzled and exhausted and I have no idea what happened after that.

Day Six: Edging in on the end of our rapidly passing week, we split the group in two, again. While a bunch of us went off to the Titanic Museum and the Christmas Village, the rest of us waited around (unless at the Pancake House) to send Kevin off and then decided on the go-kart park which featured the infamous Wild Woody. We went in on a package of tickets and all jumped around between go karts, blaster bumper boats, kiddie rides, bumper cars, and--obviously--the Wild Woody go kart track. Despite the amazingly relentless sun and heat, we managed a ton of laughs and smiles before a fluke ended us with extra tickets and two over-wrought kids. Cabin for dinner, where we gathered on the three-story porch to witness a breath-taking sunset-with-full-moon and release blue balloons into the sky to commemorate what would have been my brother's 30th birthday. Turns out sharing a cry might not be the worst way to end a family vacation. After all that? A select few die-hards spent the last night of vaca taking a little cart up a mountain into the woods where we mini-golfed our way amongst the trees and, presumably, the bears. They call this Hillbilly Golf.

Day Seven: We are forced to be completely out of the cabin by ten am, and somehow sneak in a family portrait at 9:55. It's not fun to say goodbye to everyone, but one by one cars start to slide out of the driveway and onto the road and we pull out as well. C'est la vie.

Aunt Nette, Aunt Shelly, Stacey, Alec, Grandma, Aunt Caroline, Eric, Lindsay, Dan, Baby, me, Uncle Odie (that's Lloyd to you), Mom. In the front: Daisy, Scott, Girl, and Boy. (Kevin not pictured.)