You'd Think, as Our Third Largest Expense...

Our biggest expense every month is our home. Our second largest is gas. Gas is gaining on our home, which highlights when Boy calls the minivan our "home-van." Maybe one day it will be. Food would be sandwiched between these two other costs, but with food stamps, it moves way down to come even with maybe the phone bill. That makes the third largest expense every month MY health insurance. Kevin has insurance through his school. The kids have Medicaid. And I am left spending more than $200 a month for my own crappy insurance.

I actually wanted emergency-only, since regular checkups would be easier to pay for out-of-pocket than a constant $200 draining. There is no such thing. Emergency-only insurance is at least $150 a month. So what do I get for $200? (Believe me, I have spent many hours researching and applying for health insurance. So I'm not an expert by any stretch, but I have done my homework.) A one-year waiting period on like everything (which is more than $2500 later). No coverage on anything to do with a headache, ever (due to my migraines). An annual $3500 deductible on urgent cares and ERs, plus co-pays of course. And discounts at a pretty select group of doctors and urgent cares and ERs. Which means, when I have been bit by something and my ankle is now purple and puffy and hurting and I have a headache and tingly fingers I have to FIRST call the insurance and figure out where I can go to an urgent care, then drive there and pay for the whole thing anyhow. (But I get a discount! which is probably carried by the provider and in no way touches that $200 that I have already paid this month.)

How is this working?

I have considered so many times dropping insurance and just paying out of pocket, but I am one of those nervous Americans who does not want to die of cancer--or even survive cancer--and leave millions of dollars of debt to my family. So I waffle. And I struggle to make payments. And then I end up with an anxiety attack in the waiting room of the urgent care. (No joke.)

There has to be insurance that makes more sense, that feels like I am paying an amount I can handle and getting something for it. As it is, I am paying more than I am really able, and am getting very little for it. Then I am all stressed out. Maybe I'll have a heart attack and actually get past the $3500 deductible... where they pay 70%.